Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
