nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
