Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
50% drunk capacity currently
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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