you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
