Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
