the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
