Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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