New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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