I'm so fucking centered right now
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
