no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
