all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
