his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
