Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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