I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
nutella sex= disaster
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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