return my video game
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
