His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
