hotel room ftw
Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
should my penis look like a turkey
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
i am craving dick and cupcakes
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
