Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
