cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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