Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
