You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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