Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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