Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I just want to make out with him forever
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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