the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
There's even glitter on my cock...
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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