I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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