I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
