Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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