Duck Duck Cougar?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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