I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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