hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Randomize
