I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
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