Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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