I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
