Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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