I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
