Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
