I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
