Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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