Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize