the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I wear drunk well.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
