He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
