Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
