All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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