hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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