Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
