I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
