I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
