i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
