some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
