I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
