You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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