Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Randomize
